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 Yes. His voice was firm and he looked away.  Yes I do.
 And would he make a good father? Sophie paused.  And would he want to be in the baby s life?
 No. Max s face was hard.  He wouldn t acknowledge the baby. He s married, Sophie.
 Oh.
 And he s an important figure. It would lead to a lot of trouble. I can t say much more now. He
frowned.  It s complicated and I don t want you involved.
 Don t do a paternity test. Sophie grabbed his hand.  A baby doesn t need all this strife. He ll never
grow up happy in those circumstances. We will make good parents, Max.
 Can you love him, Sophie?
 Yes. Sophie thought about Jacobs s innocent face.  Yes, I can love him. She bit her lip and started
playing with her hair and looked out of the window.  I never told anyone this before but my uncle, the
one that raised me, he dated my mother before she married my dad. And he really, really loved her.
But then she met his brother, my dad, and they fell head over heels in love. And my mom ditched my
uncle and married my dad. It was years before my uncle finally married his best friend, my aunt, and
they say that he never really got over my mom. When she died, they say he was devastated.
 Oh your poor aunt. Max looked at her in sympathy.
 Yes, it s quite sad. She looked at him sorrowfully.  But my aunt never loved me less. She never
looked at me with distaste or hurt or even hate. She loved me with all of her heart and while I was
lonely I never doubted her love for me. I want to be that person for Jacob. No child deserves to feel
like he wasn t wanted or good enough. It s not his fault that his parents made poor decisions.
 And that is why I love you, Sophie. He brought her towards him and they hugged awkwardly
through the seatbelts.  Your heart is so huge.
 Remember that, Max. She grinned.  Now let s go to the sex club.
 Ha. Max peered at her.  You look like you re excited?
She grinned at him and licked her lips.
 Oh my god, you re excited to visit the sex club, Max exclaimed.  Just what do you think is going to
happen?
 I don t know, but I don t have on any underwear. She raised an eyebrow and he fanned his face.
 Sophie, you are trying to make me a bad man, aren t you? He grinned and started the car.  Then
let s go.
 So where are we going? She looked around her curiously.
 We re going to Jersey to a secret club called  The Games .
 The Games? She laughed.  Original.
 It s a starter club, he explained.  If you like it, we can go to a better one.
 Seedier one?
 No. He grinned.  I can tell you know nothing about the lifestyle, seedy is what you see on TV.
 So these clubs aren t seedy?
 No. He looked at her with a smile.  The clientele may be seedy but the actual club isn t. We re not
going to some dive bar in a bad neighborhood.
 Okay. Sophie sat back and studied Max as he drove. He seemed very controlled for some reason.
She could tell he was tense and she wasn t sure why. He had seemed excited to find out that she was
excited but something in his reaction had made her worry. Something she couldn t quite put her finger
on. Maybe it was because he was excited himself. She wasn t sure what that meant. Did he miss going
to the clubs? Was this something he needed in his life? And just how far did he go? What did he mean
about this being a lifestyle? She was worried that she wasn t enough for him. She loved him more
than life itself but if he needed to be with other women, that was not going to be an option for her. She
would leave him because staying would mean breaking her heart.
Chapter 10
Max
Max drove steadily. He didn t want Sophie to notice that his heart was racing. He hadn t been to  The
Games in a while and he wasn t sure who would be there that he knew. He hoped that all the usual
girls were long gone by now. He should have thought it out a bit better, this was the club he had
always brought his new assistants to, to see if they would be comfortable with the role he needed
them for. He wasn t sure if Sophie realized that he had come to these clubs without Alexis. And he
wasn t sure if he wanted her to know that. Something told him that she wouldn t be as understanding if
she knew he had fucked half the women who worked there.
 So what will we do when we get there? Sophie turned to him and he smiled at the eagerness in her
voice.
 We ll leave it up to the moment. He smiled briefly at her and turned back to the road so that he
could think.
 Are you okay with us going, Max? Sophie s voice was tight and worried.
 Yes, of course. He smiled at her while warning bells rang out in his chest. If he were a smart man,
he would turn the car around and drive them somewhere else, far away from New Jersey and  The
Games . But he didn t listen to his inner voice and kept on driving.
 Have you written any poetry lately, Sophie? He attempted to change the subject as they drove in
silence.
 No, not really.
 Written in your journal?
 Yes. She laughed.  I try to write in it every day.
 Can you remember anything you ve written lately? He looked over at her.  I d like to hear it.
 Not by heart, she lied. She could remember her words of anguish as well as if she had written them
moments ago.
 I wrote something recently. He paused.  I wrote a poem.
 You did? She looked at him in surprise.  I didn t know.
 It s something my therapist taught me to do, to express my feelings. He laughed at her face.  I know,
I know. I have a therapist. I ll tell you more about it later.
 I never knew you had one. She looked at him thoughtfully.  How often do you see him or her?
 As often as I need. His voice was low.  There are some things I need to tell you but tonight is not
the night.
 Okay. She reached over and squeezed his hand, her voice soft and sweet.  Whenever you re ready,
Max.
 Thanks. He pulled into the parking lot of a fancy restaurant.  I want to recite the poem to you before
we go in.
 Go in? Sophie looked at the steak restaurant in front of her.  Are we eating first?
 No. He grinned at her puzzled face.  You ll see.
 I m so confused right now. She laughed and Max turned towards her undoing his seatbelt.
 From the first time, He held her hand.  That s the name of the poem. He gazed into her eyes and
tried to penetrate her mind. He wanted her to understand how deep his words were and how honest he [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]